She showed me what it was like for every girl that I've ever been with before
Thinking that we loved each other equally
but in reality I loved her more
Because what was before wasn't love just empty lies that formed an abyss
Pulling me in oh so dangerously
the opposite of this
Its her touch and her touch alone that fills me with bliss
Therefore the amount of pain inflicted by her absence is limitless
Its this pain that I fear
but it's her I would miss
Its this pain that I fear
but it's her I would miss
I miss you
And I still keep the flower that you put in my hair on that shelf in my bedroom
And it sits on top of the rock that reads fuck off I love you
that you carved into
But each day it withers away with the hope that I had and I'm glad
But more so I'm mad at myself
for allowing that constant reminder of you to live there on that shelf
for as long as it has
Letting it slowly lose it's color
When I could easily take it away by holding it to a flame until it turns a whole new shade of grey
Im not quite sure that I'll ever find the strength
To forgive myself for letting you go
And to try and forget the words that I never had the chance to say
The words that I so badly wanted you to know
I miss you
Unsteady
Im still not ready to let go
Let go of this
Unsteady
I see your letting your control
Control slip
She was at his house house having a drink like the night before
But I was on her mind
and she couldn't ignore it anymore
And then she decides to call me
And the words that she chose to say were appalling
She said that she missed me every second of every day
She said the words that I'd only dreamt that she would say
Maybe it's true and she loves me
Or maybe she just loves the way that I make her feel
Maybe she loves the way that I look at her
Maybe my love was real
Unsteady
Im still not ready to let go
Let go of this
Unsteady
I see your letting your control
Control slip
Maybe I'm sane
but I can't help but feel strange
Tangents of thoughts that I thought had purpose lose purpose leaving me perplexed
But less so than when I didn't know how useless such thoughts could really be
But now I can see
that if she is a reality then at least someone knows the real me
and how uncertainty fills this temple that I've come to know as my own body
shackled by the Tyranny of customs I shake
but these chains won't break
Im a slave
I long to be set free in hopes that I can see not only what I can but what others perceive
